


swipe right on new regrets

by toromeo (ald0us)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk, Jace is an idiot, M/M, Shameless PWP that grew a plot and feelings, mundane AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ald0us/pseuds/toromeo
Summary: It’s not Jace’s fault no one takes grindr away from him when he’s drunk. And sometimes, just sometimes, it pays off.





	swipe right on new regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I originally intended this to be a oneshot, but had a great idea for a second chapter, so the ending of the piece may seem a bit incongruent to the story, as it's a setup for the next chapter. More chapters may be added later.
> 
> Happy 29th birthday, Jonathan!! Too bad you’re fucking dead.

The tequila bottle he’d bought on his way home from his first day of work was almost half empty. Jace was sprawled out on his couch, alone, pretending to watch some sort of sports game he couldn’t exactly recognize. Baseball? Basketball? One of those ones with the ball. It had been a particularly nasty end to an overall miserable week, and the only way he could think to congratulate himself on surviving was to drown himself in alcohol. Jace took another piece of the cold pizza Alec had left in the fridge and ripped off a bite. He was insufferably horny, but too drunk for his ego to tolerate watching porn, so he’d contented himself with swiping idly through tinder and, after conversations about people’s pets and their desire to have a threesome got tiresome, grindr. In a city as big as New York, it provided endless entertainment as well as a sense of melancholy, because if there were that many fish in the sea, why was he still so damn single?  
  
He chatted idly with a few guys, but annoyingly all they wanted to talk about was again, their pets or whether Jace was into enemas, which he wasn’t. As it was, Jace knew he was way, way too drunk to leave the apartment with his keys, let alone have sex with a stranger. After a while he gave up talking to people and just swiped mindlessly through people’s pictures and bios.  
  
_Jake, 21. Bi, likes long walks on the beach and other things :-)_. Jake was good looking enough, pale-ish with a slightly awkward smile but nice eyes. He had a somewhat uninspiring shirtless picture and a photograph of his dog, which was nice.  
  
_Solomon, 23, photographer, looking for a soulmate_. Solomon’s pictures were all very artistic, unsurprisingly, and his dark eyes looked soulful even through the twenty-three filters he’d applied to them. He had very dark skin and really nice hair. Jace rated him out of his league.  
  
_Alex, 24, dom looking 4 sub, rough but looking for a good time_. Alex was sort of plain but had a very intimidating physique, which Jace had to imagine was what got him laid with that kind of bio. Jace wasn’t particularly submissive, but if he was Alex looked like a fun time.  
  
Jace stopped to take a tequila break, but was dismayed to find the bottle empty. Sighing, he grabbed another piece of pizza and returned to his phone. The next profile had no name or age, just _Submissive/versatile, no strings attached_. The pictures showed none of his face above his mouth, but his lips were very red, full and curvy, and his unbuttoned dress shirt revealed a gorgeous chest and cute pink nipples. Jace imagined that grabbing the guy’s well-developed pectorals would be a very rewarding experience, and the thought made his otherwise despondent dick perk up with interest.  
  
With a muttered _fuck it_ Jace swiped open the chat window, and was immediately at a loss as to what to say. He couldn’t like, compliment his eyes, because his eyes weren’t anywhere in the picture, and he was guessing pets and enemas was a bad way to go. Jace typed, with difficulty,  
  
_< I’d fuck ur tits and come on ur face_  
  
A few moments passed, and a strange, sneaking suspicion occurred to him that he may have not said the right thing. Then the typing bubble appeared and Jace’s confidence was restored.  
  
_> What?_  
  
Jace thought this very self-explanatory.  
  
_< I’d fuck ur tits. like ur chest. and cum on ur face._  
_<   I bet you’d like that_  
  
A longer pause, then,  
  
_> That’s one hell of an opener._  
  
Jace had to parse this for a few seconds, thinking in confusion of can openers. Eventually he dismissed the mental image and moved on.  
  
_< u also have a very sexy mouth_  
_< do u have any pets?_  
  
_> No pets._  
  
This seemed very sad to Jace for reasons he couldn’t place.  
  
_< that’s too bad I love pets_  
_< I love dogs a lot_  
_< do you like dogs?_  
  
_> Sometimes. Are you drunk?_  
  
Jace thought about that for a second, then rolled over and took a picture of his empty tequila bottle and sent it. He wasn’t sure why, but it seemed like a nice thing to do.  
  
_> I suggest you go to bed and start sleeping that off._  
  
_< nooooo im not drunk_  
_< do u want to see my dick?_  
_< not it actually just a picture_  
  
_> That depends on its size._  
  
_< its 8 inches_  
  
_> Somehow, I doubt that._  
  
Jace scowled.  
  
_< send me another pic of ur mouth and ill show u_  
  
_> Just my mouth?_  
  
_< yah ill jack off to it_  
  
A few moments, and Jace got bored enough to check facebook. Someone was getting married. He received a notification and immediately switched tabs.  
  
The picture was grainier than the one in the guy’s profile, but it was undeniably the same mouth, now slightly parted. His lips were so curvy and pretty, and fuck, just imagining it was making Jace slightly hard. He reached into his boxers (he’d ditched his pants the second he’d realized he had the apartment to himself) and pulled out his dick. A couple seconds later he snapped a picture of it, holding up the tequila bottle for reference. He found that a very thoughtful addition, even if he couldn’t find a quarter.  
  
_< see I told u_  
_< 8 inches_  
_< Id fuck ur mouth too by the way_  
_< its really hot_  
  
_> That is a very impressive dick._  
_> I’m not sure I believe it’s yours, but it’s still very nice._  
  
Jace grinned. His grin disappeared as the door burst open; he grabbed at the nearest object—the blanket on the couch—and threw it over his lap.  
  
“Jace, what the hell—oh my god, did you drink all of that?” Isabelle’s voice turned concerned and she grabbed the tequila bottle out of his hand. “Jace—fuck, is that grindr? Are you texting some poor fuck drunk?”  
  
“Noo,” said Jace, holding his phone to his chest. “It got drunk-ed itself.”  
  
Isabelle snatched the phone from his hands and put it down on the coffee table. “You need to get to bed,” she said, looking sort of smiley for some reason. “Come on, you have to get out of here before Alec and Magnus come back, they’ll just laugh at you.”  
  
She hooked her arms under his armpits and hauled him upright, half carrying, half-dragging him to his room. Jace did his best to help, but his best wasn’t very good.  
  
“Thanks, Izzy,” Jace said once she’d laid him on his bed, and damn, he was feeling tired. “You’re the best. I love you.”  
  
Isabelle rolled her eyes. “If you hadn’t been there every time I came home vomiting, I’d just leave you there.” Her expression melted somewhat, and she helped him pull his comforter up over his shoulders. “But yes, I love you too.”  
  
  
  
  
  
When Jace woke up, sunlight was streaming through his window, stabbing his eyes like little blades. His head gave the most massive, awful throb, and as soon as he raised it he felt the most profound nausea of his life. _Fuck_. He was hung over. Very hung over. Steeling himself for the worst, Jace reached for his phone on the bedside. It slipped through his fingers a few times, but eventually he managed to get a grip on it. He checked the time and—  
  
It was nearly 8 PM.  
  
Jace swore, jolting out of bed and immediately falling back to the mattress. He managed to half-roll, half-fall out of bed and stagger into the living room, where Magnus and Alec were sitting on the couch and making out very loudly. Isabelle sat in the armchair next to them, watching the _Keeping Up With the Kardashians_ re-runs.  
  
“My shift started nine hours ago,” he groaned. “What the fuck do I do?”  
  
“It’s the weekend, Jace,” Isabelle said. “Your next shift is tomorrow evening, and that’s because Alec got you overtime, because he’s a better brother than I am.”  
  
“Oh,” said Jace.  
  
“But rise and shine,” said Magnus, who had noticed Jace was there and looked very amused by it. “Tequila, the breakfast of champions.”  
  
Jace groaned. “Is that why I feel like an octopus sucked out my brains?”  
  
Alec looked somewhere between amused and sympathetic. “Looks like it.”  
  
Jace groaned again and staggered back towards his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him and falling back bonelessly onto his bed. It creaked dangerously and threatened to dump him onto the floor, but held. He groped for his phone and found it on his bedside table. With effort, he opened it up  and was dismayed to see that he had new unanswered emails. Resolving to ignore them, he closed the mail app and opened up snapchat. A few snaps from Maia—pictures of her with her new boyfriend, a guy called Bat Vasquez—and story notifications from Alec and Isabelle last night, each smiling with their respective boyfriends.  
  
Well. That made him feel great.  
  
Jace closed out snapchat and Messenger and everything that wasn’t safari, then froze as he recognized tinder and grindr open. Tinder had nothing offensive, just an open conversation where he’d been discussing with some lady the merits of different breeds of cats, and he closed that out with a grateful sigh. Then, with mild trepidation, he opened up grindr. The first thing he saw was a dick. His own dick. His own dick nestled in penguin boxers with a tequila bottle next to it.  
  
Jace closed the app. After a few minutes of deep, scalding embarrassment and deep breaths combined with a resolution not to throw himself out the open window, Jace opened the app again and scrolled up to the top of the conversation. It wasn’t any better up there. In fact, it was worse. Rolling over to moan into his pillow, Jace read all the way down to the bottom. His first impulse was to delete the conversation and remove the guy as a contact, but given the fact he’d made a complete and utter ass of himself, he figured he owed the dude an apology. He drafted a few formal apologies that sounded terrible ( _Hi, my apologies about what I said last night, I was drunk_ ) and finally went with a heartfelt:  
  
_< Fucking hell I’m sorry man_  
_< The shit I said was rude as hell_  
_< I’ll delete your contact_  
  
For a few seconds, he just stared at the stupid ads scrolling by, telling him how hot Russian singles wanted to meet him. Then, with a horrible shock of guilt, he realized the typing bubble had appeared on the other side. With the fear of a man awaiting execution, Jace waited for his reply.  
  
_> Don’t worry. It was rather amusing, after a fashion. _  
  
_< I’m serious I’ll delete your contact if you want_  
_< I’m really sorry_  
_< I haven’t been that wasted since college_  
  
_> Is your dick actually that big?_  
  
Jace blinked, unable to believe his eyes, as if somehow worried his hormones were tricking his eyes. As if wary of a trap, he typed out slowly,  
  
_< Uh, yeah?_  
  
_> Then consider yourself forgiven. Are you still interested?_  
  
_Fuck_. Jace clicked on his profile, swiped through the pictures of the guy’s gorgeous mouth and pretty torso, the elegant hand holding his phone in the mirror. None of them showed his face, so it was possible that was hideous or something, but his body was hot enough Jace would be willing to put up with almost anything.  
  
_< Yeah of course_  
_< What’s your name? It’s not in your bio_  
  
A moment’s pause, then,  
  
_> Sebastian. Yours is Jace, correct?_  
  
_< Yeah. I mean it’s a nickname but everyone calls me that_  
  
Jace thought about asking for a picture of his face, but then recalled that ten seconds prior he’d been offering to never to speak to Sebastian again, so he figured that might be rushing things a little.  
  
_> You never told me if you had any pets._  
  
Jace winced, recalling that part of their previous conversation.  
  
_< My roommates and I have a cat called Church. He’s evil and bloodthirsty, but we still love him_  
  
Jace opened his camera roll and scrolled up to a picture of Church trying to claw at his face, and sent it.  
  
_> He looks like a terror. You’re very cute with claw marks on your face, though._  
  
_< Thanks. I look even better with them on my back_  
  
It was a risk, and possibly a stupid one, but Sebastian was the one with _submissive_ in his bio, and it was a hunch. When he wasn’t blind drunk, Jace’s intuition about flirting was usually pretty good. Also, he couldn’t possibly fuck up more than he already had. It wasn’t exactly a comforting thought.  
  
_> I don’t suppose you have photographic evidence?_  
  
Jace did, actually, but that was less because he’d taken the picture himself and more because Isabelle had taken him swimming the next day and taken a picture when he wasn’t looking. This had been during the disastrous time when she’d been trying to set him up with her boyfriend Mel’s sister, Kaelie.  
  
_< That would be kissing and telling_  
_< I do accept bribes, though_  
  
A few seconds, then Sebastian sent a photo of his pale chest and shoulders covered in oval bruises. His nipples were very red and looked like they’d been pinched or sucked on.  
  
_> I like being marked, too. Is that bribe enough?_  
  
Jace grinned, navigating to the photo in the shared iCloud. It was mostly memes and screenshots of regrettable conversations, but he found the photo eventually, called “getjacelaid.jpg.” He sent it and said,  
  
_< You already know I can’t resist your tits_  
  
_> I’m not sure that line is as charming as you think it is, Jace._  
  
_< Considering you’re talking to me for my dick not my personality, I don’t think that should bother me very much_  
_< You’re the one who has to be charming if you want to see it_  
_< I know you want to_  
  
_> You’re very confident, aren’t you?_  
  
_< You’re very slutty. It makes it easy_  
_< Are you thinking about getting fucked?_  
  
_> I can’t say I’ve been called slutty before. But yes, being on grindr, I am thinking about sex._  
  
_< No I mean getting fucked. Are you thinking about it?_  
  
_> Yes._  
  
_< Are you thinking about getting fucked by me?_  
  
_> Are you thinking about fucking me?_  
  
_< Yeah I am_  
_< I’d fuck you in a heartbeat if I wasn’t so hung over_  
  
_> I hope you’d last longer than a heartbeat._  
  
Jace snorted, and instantly regretted it as his head gave a massive throb.  
  
_< Brb I’m getting asprin_  
  
_> Is that for your wounded pride?_  
  
Jace rolled off the bed and trudged to the bathroom, pulling open a drawer and popping open the nearest asprin bottle. He turned on the tap and cupped some water into is mouth and swallowed two pills, then turned off the water and shoved the drawer shut with his hip.  
  
_< No, its for the entire bottle of tequila, don’t get ahead of yourself_  
_< Do you drink?_  
  
Sebastian responded a few seconds later with a picture of a glass of red wine. His hand was gorgeous, long and slender, with defined veins and an alabaster tint. Good for piano playing.  
  
_> Not excessively, but yes. _  
  
_< Not a party boy?_  
  
_> Definitely not. May I ask how old you are?_  
  
_< 24\. You?_  
  
_> 32\. Is that too old?_  
  
_< Nah I love banging older dudes_  
_< Gives you time to improve your oral game_  
_< I bet you give it real good by now_  
  
_> And you, by contrast, are probably a sloppy, tragic waste of a good dick._  
  
Jace dropped back down on his bed, feeling a bit better. There was a soft breeze from the window, which helped.  
  
_< Stop, you’ll hurt its feelings_  
  
_> Somehow I think you’ll manage to massage it back to health._  
  
_< I’d prefer if you kissed it better_  
  
_> Are you free Sunday after 8PM? I’m assuming your headache will be gone by then._  
  
For a moment Jace just stared at his screen, somewhere between incredulous and elated.  
  
_< Are you serious?_  
  
_> I don’t see why I wouldn’t be._  
  
_< I have work but I can get out of that. You sure you’re not a serial killer or something?_  
  
_> Quite sure, yes. I have a hotel room downtown at the DuMort._  
  
_< DuMort? Not exactly helping your serial killer case_  
  
_> An unfortunate name, but the hotel has a very strict no-murder policy._  
_> If you have skype, we can speak face to face before arranging a meeting._  
  
Jace hesitated a second, then remembered the account he’d made for job interviews, easily deleted and remade. His hormones made the decision easily.  
  
_< What’s your username? I’ll add you_  
  
_> s.verlac_  
  
Jace tapped on the name and copied it, then opened skype and switched accounts and pasted the name in. It came up with multiple options, and Jace tapped on the one that said _Sebastian_.  
  
_< Okay I sent the request_  
_< I’m jc.wayland_  
  
A few seconds passed and then skype flashed a notification that _s.verlac_ had added him. He tapped on it, then typed in,  
  
_< Before I call don’t judge me on how I look rn I’m hungover_  
_< Also send me a selfie or something so I don’t recoil at your hideousness to your face_  
  
_> I’m acquainted with your penguin boxers. I’m pretty sure I’ve judged you enough already._  
  
Nearly a minute later the picture loaded and Jace nearly dropped his phone on his face. He’d expected Sebastian to be at least sort of cute, if his mouth was anything to lead by, but the simple fact of the matter was he was extremely hot, in a handsome but also intimidating way. The picture itself was sort of shitty with bad lamp lighting, but it didn’t ruin his high, defined cheekbones and sculpted nose and large dark eyes. His hair was so fair it looked almost like white gold. Jace was very glad he’d asked to see his face before calling him, so his first impression wasn’t that of a gaping goldfish.  
  
_< You’re not exactly Quasimodo, so I guess I can breathe easy_  
  
_> That’s a ringing endorsement, Jace. Are you prepared to face my hideous visage in person?_  
  
Jace checked his reflection in the mirror on his dresser and hit the call button. Sebastian picked up the call almost instantly and _fuck_ , he was just as intimidating if not more when not freeze-framed.  
  
“Hi,” Jace said, stupidly. “You going to show me your freezer full of body parts, or do I get to discover that myself?”  
  
Sebastian’s lips curled in amusement. “That’s later in the tour, I think. After the sex dungeon and torture instrument collection.”  
  
Fuck. Fuck, his accent was hot. His voice was hot, the very pitch and timbre of it. “You didn’t say you were British.”  
  
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Should I put in my bio? Warning, may cause an upwelling of patriotic fervor for Queen and country?”  
  
“That or, warning, may try to colonize you.”  
  
Sebastian gave a soft snort of amusement. “Touché.” He regarded Jace thoughtfully a moment, taking a sip of wine, and Jace could see the collar of his white dress shirt wide open around his neck. “Do you have heterochromia, or is that just the video quality?”  
  
“I do, yeah,” Jace said. “I’m told it’s from my mom.”  
  
“It’s very beautiful.” Sebastian’s manner was cool, measured, and Jace could absolutely not fathom he’d drunkenly told him he wanted to cum on his face. The thought someone so intimidatingly....sexy seemed to find Jace tolerable, let alone eligible to have sex with was, well, the biggest ego boost he’d had in about ten years. “Anyway, if you’d prefer to meet somewhere you’re more familiar with I’d be willing to try to arrange it.”  
  
The last time Jace met someone off grindr, they met in the sketchiest Motel 6 in downtown New York. The fact he hadn’t gotten something infectious (he checked) from the encounter was a miracle. “Uh, no, I’m good,” Jace said quickly, banishing mental images of the cockroaches. “I just sort of wanted to see you had uh, a face and everything.”  
  
“And to check my freezer,” Sebastian added.  
  
Jace grinned lazily. “Yeah, that too.”  
  
“I’ll send you the address and room number, then,” Sebastian said, lifting his wine glass to his lips again. “If you get lost or can’t find me you can message me here.”  
  
“Sounds good.” Jace watched him swallow with considerable heat to his face and _other_ regions. “After 8 PM, right?”  
  
“That’s correct.” Sebastian set down the wine glass somewhere out of frame. “One other thing, Jace, just so we’re on the same page. I’m not looking for a romantic relationship, just sex. Are you all right with that?”  
  
“Isn’t no-strings-attached sex every dude’s dream?” Jace countered. “Yeah, that’s good with me. I’ll make sure to smack you if you catch feelings for my penguin boxers.”  
  
“Appreciated,” Sebastian replied dryly. “Well, if you’ll pardon me, I have an early start tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh yeah, sure. Beauty sleep, and all that.” Jace held back a cringe at his own statements with effort. He manufactured his cockiest grin. “Goodnight, then. Unless you want to give me a little tease before going.”  
  
Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. “And what would that be, exactly?”  
  
Jace mimed unbuttoning a shirt with his free hand. “Just two or three more. Nothing racy.”  
  
Sebastian regarded him with some amusement. Then, almost lazily, his hand went to his already-open collar, pushing the two fronts of his shirt aside. He undid a single button more, so that Jace could see an expansive _V_ of his pale skin. As if reading Jace’s expression, he gave a slightly superior smile. “Goodnight, Jace.”  
  
The call ended a second later.  
  
“Fuck,” Jace said aloud.  
  
  
  
  
  
“I’m getting laid tomorrow,” Jace announced to the living room at large.  
  
“That’s...statistically possible but unlikely in practice,” said Magnus. It was nearly 11 PM, and he was still there, feeding Alec Froot Loops with his fingers. “Who’s the unlucky victim?”  
  
“Some dude off grindr,” said Jace, ignoring the rest. “Therefore, I need one of you, my lovely siblings whom I love very much, to cover my shift after about 7:30.”  
  
Isabelle groaned. “Jace, you were hired two weeks ago. Alec fought tooth and nail to get you hours, and now you’re going off to get catfished?”  
  
“I still don’t believe this man actually exists,” Magnus added, supportive as always.  
  
Jace scowled. “I’ll show you a picture.”  
  
At that, Isabelle brightened immediately. “Show us,” she demanded, jumping off her armchair to sit on the coffee table. “Show us and if he’s cute enough we’ll consider it.”  
  
“We will?” said Alec. He did not look enthusiastic.  
  
“We will,” confirmed Isabelle, a bit forcefully. “Jace, cough it up.”  
  
Jace scrolled up to Sebastian’s photo and tapped on it, then turned the screen her way. Alec, Magnus, and Isabelle all leapt forward as if he were offering them the fountain of youth.  
  
“Jace he’s so sexy,” Isabelle gushed. “And so totally out of your league. Are you sure he doesn’t want to sell your organs on the black market?”  
  
“If I looked like him, I could definitely do better than Jace,” Magnus opined, looking a bit disdainful. “Thankfully, I’m much more handsome, but even if I wasn’t that would really be settling.”  
  
“Thanks, Magnus.”  
  
Alec nodded, looking nonplussed. “Looks nice.”  
  
“As long as you’re sure he won’t murder you and turn your skin into a suit, I’ll cover your shift,” Isabelle declared. “But I want you to cover me next weekend when Mel and I go for our road trip. _And_ you do my dishes for a week.”  
  
“Deal.” Isabelle held out her hand; Jace shook it. “Thanks, Izzy.”  
  
“Don’t mention it.” Isabelle smiled brightly. “What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t help my little brother get laid with a handsome stranger?” Her expression straightened. “Use protection.”  
  
Jace tossed off a mock salute. “Will do. Anyway, I’m going to sleep off the rest of my hangover. See you in the morning.”  
  
  
  
  
  
By the time 7:30 PM rolled around, Jace was entirely exhausted. It had been an impossibly long day of picking up dishes, cleaning tables, setting out silverware, and wondering how the hell the restaurant’s clientele managed to replicate so fast. Still, after pledging to Isabelle his undying adoration he bussed home, showered, picked something to wear that was actually clean, applied deodorant and brushed his teeth, and stole some of Alec’s cologne that wasn’t Old Spice, in record time. Then he grabbed his phone and headed for the bus stop at a run, hoping for once it wouldn’t be late.  
  
Of course, it was.  
  
He hadn’t looked up Hotel DuMort beforehand, but he had a good idea of the area it was in, so he was understandably shocked when he walked in to discover it appeared to be once of the nicest hotels in New York. The gleaming marble floors matched the brass trim and perfectly-coiffed attendants. The concierge glared at him when he walked in, probably because he wasn’t wearing a suit. It could also have to do with the fact he was wearing broken-up Vans and jeans with more than one hole in them. Why the hell hadn’t he looked up the Du Mort on Google street view?  
  
Jace scooted by and pretended to be absorbed on his phone, making immediately for the elevators and punching the button for floor 14. He felt rather jittery, and even the mints he’d stolen from Isabelle weren’t making him feel any better.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Jace hurried out, wandering down the hall until he found room 1402. Then, steeling himself, he took a deep breath and knocked.  
  
Sebastian opened the door, and fuck, whatever kind of suit he was wearing Jace knew it was a) expensive and b) looked very, very good on him. It was charcoal grey, and probably cost more than the going rate for Jace’s organs. It definitely made the plaid button-down Jace had chosen as “looking presentable” look scruffy enough to be part of Kurt Cobain’s wardrobe. He told himself it was part of his charm.  
  
“Room service,” said Jace, with his cheekiest grin. “If you’re decent, I can come back later.”  
  
Sebastian gave a bemused smile and fuck, he was even more attractive in person. And tall. Much taller than Jace imagined. Taller than Jace himself, just slightly, which Jace had to resent a little bit. He opened the door to let Jace in and Jace stepped inside, and there was something about the way he looked at him that gave Jace ludicrous amounts of courage.  
  
As soon as the door was closed he grabbed the back of Sebastian’s neck kissed him, using more teeth than he normally would. Sebastian made a little noise of surprise and his lips parted, his whole mouth silky soft; Jace grabbed at Sebastian’s waist and pulled him in, at the same time pushing him up against the wall at his back. His kisses were almost sloppy and he grabbed rather crudely at Sebastian’s ass, pinning him to the wall and trailing kisses from Sebastian’s mouth down his jawline and where his neck met his shoulder, sucking and biting lightly at the delicate skin.  
  
Sebastian gave a sharp exhale and his hands groped up Jace’s back. “Not above my collar,” he gasped out, and fuck, Jace was already hard but the way he sounded, strained and just a little needy made him want it even more.  
  
“What, you don’t want to advertise to the world what a slut you are?”  It could have been the hotel lamplight, but Jace thought Sebastian’s high cheekbones flushed a bit more at the last. Jace smirked and looked up into Sebastian’s dark eyes. “Not that it matters. I already know you like being manhandled.”  
  
“And you know that how?” For how hard he was breathing, Sebastian had impressive composure, but he definitely wasn’t fooling anyone. Now that Jace could appreciate Sebastian’s reactions in person, it was very clear he enjoyed the invective slung his way.  
  
“Because all I’ve done is kiss and grope you a little and you’re already getting hard.” Jace pressed the top of his thigh between Sebastian’s legs, savoring the quiet gasp that drew. He seized Sebastian’s wrists and pushed them up the textured, beige wallpaper, and he made a pretty picture like that, golden hair askew, pale wrists pinned over his shoulders against the wall. His lips met Jace’s again and he teased Jace’s tongue with the tip of his own—fuck, that was the experience thing. Trying not to think about what Sebastian’s kissing ability suggested about his oral skills, Jace let go of his wrists and pulled at his crisp white dress shirt, fumbling with the tiny pearly buttons. Sebastian attempted to shrug out of his suit coat as Jace dropped his belt at their feet; Jace grabbed at his narrow waist impatiently and pulled him towards the massive king bed at the center of the room.  
  
“Jace—wait, I’m still wearing my shoes—“  
  
“I don’t care about shoes,” said Jace, and pushed him onto the mattress. Sebastian landed with a heavy gracefulness, muttering something that sounded very much like fuck as Jace crawled onto the mattress after him, grabbing at the waistband of Jace’s jeans as soon as he was in reach.  
  
Jace pulled Sebastian’s shirt open, his skin stark against the dark grey of his suit. A silky dark blue tie slithered against Jace’s hand; he tossed it aside and went to kiss Sebastian’s chest. His skin was slightly salty but smooth and soft and he seemed muscular in a lean sort of way, his hips and stomach hard angles where his chest was soft and curved. Jace laved his tongue over one pink nipple, feeling the nub harden under his touch; Sebastian’s back arched slightly and he gave a small groan.  
  
“Stop teasing,” he complained, grabbing a fistful of Jace’s shirt under his leather jacket and pulling upwards. His fingers dug into Jace’s bare skin, slightly cold and sending a thrill up Jace’s spine.  
  
Jace grinned and fumbled with the front of Sebastian’s dress trousers, unzipping them and yanking them down around his narrow hips. His briefs were made of some silky, reddish material and Jace had a wild inclination to pull at them until they tore—with effort, he restrained himself, pulling them down around Sebastian’s milky thighs. Sebastian had an arm around his shoulders and was mouthing softly at Jace’s collarbones, and fuck, that felt so good he was tempted to roll over and accept kisses until he could take no more.  
  
He pulled at Sebastian to turn over, which he did very obediently. With his arms above his head his dress shirt rode up, exposing a very nice, perfectly rounded ass. Jace gave it a smack and Sebastian made a noise of surprise and mild indignation, which quickly gave way to a groan as Jace pushed up his shirt-tails and licked a stripe from his tailbone to the small of his back. A few seconds of contortion and Jace managed to retrieve one of the condoms he’d stuffed in his back pocket; he ripped it open with his teeth (Sebastian rolled his eyes at this particular affectation) and sat back on his heels between Sebastian’s legs as he attempted to pull it on one-handed.  
  
Sebastian rolled over and fetched a travel-sized bottle of lube from the bedside table drawer, where Gideon Bibles were kept. It looked pretty fancy, especially for someone as  used to dollar-store Vaseline as Jace was. “I expect you to use this very liberally,” he said, and tossed it Jace’s way.    
  
Jace grabbed it and put a hand to Sebastian’s back to push him back down. “Say please,” he growled against Sebastian’s ear.  
  
“Don’t be puerile, Jace,” was the reply. Jace rolled his hips against Sebastian’s ass and Sebastian made a slightly strangled sound. The sound turned to a whine as Jace took a handful of his hair in his free hand and pulled, firm but not too hard. “Please,” Sebastian gasped out, and his cheeks were very pink. In the lamplight, the line of his jaw looked impossibly elegant, as if it had been painted on. His translucent lashes seemed to shine in the golden light.  
  
Jace let him go and smeared a great glob of the clear, viscous stuff onto his fingers. He was hasty as he’d been from the beginning, but this was not a step he particularly wanted to fuck up. “I’m going to use this whole thing up on you,” he said, angling Sebastian’s hips upwards and pushing a finger rather firmly against his hole. “Would you like that? How many fucks do you think that is, you think you can take that?”  
  
“Yes,” Sebastian gasped again, and his hips jerked back against Jace’s hand, legs spreading slightly. God, he had a nice ass. Round and soft to the touch. Jace grabbed a handful and dug his fingers in, savoring the reflexive jerk of Sebastian’s hips. “Fuck, yes.”  
  
Jace pushed a finger into him slowly, Sebastian making soft sounds of strain and pleasure, and fuck, he was surprisingly tight. For someone who responded to grindr messages as idiotic as his own, that was unexpected. Jace moved his hand briskly, adding a second slicked finger and then a third as he felt Sebastian’s body relax around him. Jace felt some fragile combination of absurdly confident and nervous. It wasn’t every day he fucked a hot, rich guy. Like Christian Grey or whatever is name was, if he were about twenty times classier and also a bottom. And not, to borrow Izzy’s words, “a totally weird hoe.”  
  
“Ready now?” he asked, already palming himself down with an extra squirt of lube. Sebastian made a noise of assent and Jace grabbed his waist, angling his own hips down to push into him. Jace gave a slightly choked gasp and Sebastian groaned as Jace entered him— _fuck_. Sebastian was hot and slick and suffocatingly tight, the muscles in his back tense in Jace’s grip; for a second, Jace forgot to breathe, holding his breath as if superstitious. Considering all he’d done in the past three months was jerk off awkwardly in the shower (it was very hard to be all that aroused with your siblings in the rooms adjacent, though Alec and Magnus seemed to manage it just fine), the sensation was almost overwhelming.  
  
“Fuck,” Jace gasped. Sebastian made a responding sound, more a whine than an actual word; his marble hands had fisted in the sheets. Jace gripped one milk-white thigh tight, feeling muscle with a layer of softness. He moved his hips in the smoothest motion he could, starting out slow, and Sebastian gave a satisfying gasp.  
  
“Harder,” Sebastian said and— _fuck_ , he was bossy. That wasn’t surprising, but it was surprisingly hot. “Fuck me harder—or was that all just brave words?”  
  
Jace couldn’t hold back a grin. Dipping down so that his chest pressed against Sebastian’s bare back, he said lowly into Sebastian’s ear, “Say please.”  
  
Sebastian’s high cheekbones flushed but he kept mute; Jace gave a rougher jerk of his hips. Whatever lube he used was incredible; even through the clumsy drag of his condom he could feel the perfect glide. Remembering Sebastian’s previous reaction, Jace threaded his fingers in Sebastian’s light hair and gave it a tug. It felt a bit brutish, but Sebastian reassured him with a soft, breathy groan. Had anyone told him he sounded fucking incredible? Begging didn’t seem to be Sebastian’s thing, but namecalling seemed to be. And no one could accuse Jace of not having a dirty mouth. “Not above the collar, huh?” he said, a bit breathlessly. “Did you think about what sitting down to your board meeting or whatever with a sore ass is going to be like? Or is that a turn-on for you? Cause if so I can definitely arrange that.”  
  
To illustrate his point, Jace gave a particularly sharp jerk of his hips and Sebastian responded with a little moan, definitely pained but mixed with arousal. “I’m—“ Sebastian broke off, as if the words had been knocked from his lungs. “I’m not—worried about that.”  
  
“Good,” Jace replied. He wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, as if they were spewed directly from his _id_. “Because when I’m done fucking you, you’re going to blow me. And you’re gonna make it good, like you’re getting a promotion out of it, or something.”  
  
Sebastian made a choked sound that sounded like laughter. “If you want it that good, you’re going to have to try harder.”  
  
Jace grinned. That sounded like a challenge.  He grabbed Sebastian’s hips and pulled him a bit roughly up into place, Sebastian gamely pulling up his knees to hold himself up. He made a hell of a picture like that, perfect ass up in the air and pretty face pressed into the pillows. “Then you better buck up, Princess.”  
  
Ordinarily he would have to take a thirty-second break to recover from the sheer scalding embarrassment of what he’d just let come out of his mouth, but Sebastian had an the effect of stripping all embarrassment away from him. He pushed a hand between the fancy-ass sheets and Sebastian’s body and cupped his chest— _fuck_ —and pinched his nipple. Then, angling his hips down and bracing himself against the headboard with his free hand, Jace pulled back and gave what he would have considered a brutal push, using the muscles in his quads and his core, pulling back to do it again. The exertion set a burn in his muscles but he pushed himself to go harder, faster, until Sebastian was reduced to wet-sounding gasps into the mattress and Jace was thoroughly out of breath and maybe a bit dizzy.  
  
Time to switch tack.  
  
Leaning in to grab a fresh handful of Sebastian’s chest, Jace dropped onto his elbow so that he was pressing into Sebastian’s back, setting a slow, torturous, almost languid pace. Sebastian groaned, somewhere between pleasure and protest. Jace hadn’t bottomed much, or really more than one semi-disastrous time, but he had to imagine Sebastian’s ass was on fire. “You’ve got great tits,” he breathed into Sebastian’s ear. His whole body was slicked with sweat and hot to the touch, his heartbeat racing where Jace had grabbed his chest. Their bodies moved against each other, slow, sensuous. “Remember what I said I’d do to them? Want that?”  
  
Sebastian gave a whimpering moan that choked off as Jace angled his hips down to brush against his prostate. He’d given up clawing at the sheets like a teenager and had gripped the edge of the mattress so hard his knuckles had gone white; there was a taut neediness to his spine that hadn’t been there before. Jace slowed down even more, teasing that sweet spot, making Sebastian whine in desperation, pressing kisses to his shoulderblades.  
  
“Please,” Sebastian gasped out, and Jace grinned. His lips were slicked with spit—he looked debauched, and Jace had barely touched his mouth.  “Please, Jace, _please_ —“  
  
“So needy,” Jace said, even if he was light-headed with his own impending orgasm. He rubbed a teasing line over Sebastian’s hipbones, close enough to his cock to be sensitive but not enough to allow him any release. Sebastian bucked his hips desperately against Jace’s, trying to give himself any purchase, but Jace grabbed his waist and held him in place. “Do you beg like this for everyone, or am I special?”  
  
Sebastian gave a tortured little moan and wriggled weakly in Jace’s grasp. A groan of his own escaped Jace’s gritted teeth— _fuck_ , he was close—but he dug his fingers into Sebastian’s thigh and held back. When at last he could hold on no longer he pressed fully into Sebastian, who clenched up around him so tightly that a wave of ecstasy so powerful it could have knocked him unconscious blossomed through him, swift as lightning. Jace gasped out a profound gasp, fireworks sparkling in front of his eyes. Electric heat seared through him, tingling pleasure rushing up his spine to sweep through his brain. Dimly he could feel Sebastian’s moans reverberating in his own chest, the two of them sinking into each other and the mattress.  
  
For a long moment they each lay there in their respective bliss, panting. Thoughts trickled into Jace’s head slowly, like molasses. He was sweaty. Thirsty, too. His hand under Sebastian’s hip was going a bit numb. Summoning non-existent volition, Jace rolled off Sebastian and extricated his tingling hand, throwing it over Sebastian’s back.  “So,” Jace said, once he’d gathered enough brainpower to organize words into speech. “How was that? Good enough for that blowjob?”  
  
Over his cheek Jace could see Sebastian’s eyelashes move consistent with an eye-roll, his lips curling up into a smile. “Passable.”  
  
“ _Passable_?” Jace’s voice scaled an octave so fast it nearly cracked. “Fuck you, that was the most mind-blowing sex anyone’s ever had.”  
  
Maybe excluding the time Magnus and Alec broke Alec’s old Ikea bed. Apparently, the electromagnetism of their attraction was stronger than cheap particle board. Sebastian rolled over just enough to kiss him, his weight shifting the mattress and his lips warm on Jace’s cheek. “The most mind-blowing sex _you’ve_ ever had, maybe.”  
  
Jace laughed, pushing Sebastian onto his back. His eyes were a bit hazy from his orgasm but very blue, his pink tongue pushing at his plush bottom lip. He made no move to shift from where Jace had put him, languid and obedient. Jace’s stomach tightened a bit at the sight of his wrists up on either side of his pillow. With his shirt open and his nipples pink and prominent on his lush chest, long column of his throat open and exposed, he begged to be mistreated.  
  
Jace couldn’t even think of a shitty line in response, he just bowed down and laved over one perfect nipple with his tongue, putting his mouth over it to suck. Sebastian gave a low hum of pleasure, shifting a bit; Jace rewarded him with a scrape of his teeth, sucking and biting hard enough to bruise. He was so engrossed with his task with marking his way over Sebastian’s chest, littering the bone-pale skin with pink marks that would later purple that he hardly noticed Sebastian’s legs part and curl around his sides. He was getting hard again, just enough that grinding his still mostly soft cock against Sebastian’s made them both groan.  He reached up grabbed Sebastian’s wrists, biting at his perfect lips as he ground clumsily against Sebastian’s hips, like he was an idiot high schooler. Sebastian moaned something that sounded like a fragment of his name and Jace groaned out something equally embarrassing against his lips, dipping down to suck at the skin under his jaw—  
  
“Not above the collar,” Sebastian gasped out, again, reaching as far as he could with Jace holding down his hand to swat at Jace’s head. “For god’s sake, _Jace_ —“  
  
Jace pulled back, quickly, as if he’d been doused with ice water. “Fuck, sorry.” He let go of Sebastian’s wrists, pushing his own sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes. “You’re real serious about that whole collar thing, huh? Your boss must be a real asshole.”  
  
Lydia was a real hardass about running the restaurant, but she wasn’t an ass. She’d never been shitty about sick leave with Izzy or Alec, and he was pretty sure if he showed up to work sporting bruises in interesting places he’d get nothing more than a mocking high-five. Sebastian’s business-dude boss must be a real fucking jerk.  
  
Sebastian sighed and adopted a put-upon expression, pushing Jace off his chest. “Take a seat and clean yourself off. There’s tissues on the desk.”  
  
Jace looked uncertainly to the hotel desk and the gleaming black desk chair. “Uh—“  
  
“Do it.” Sebastian had pushed himself upright and was watching him with amused eyes. _Fuck_ , he did have a bossy side. Jace complied, crawling off the bed and hitching his jeans a bit higher up before sitting down in the office chair, trying not to feel self-conscious. He tugged off the condom and tied it shut, tossing it at the trash. He missed. Grabbing a handful of tissues, he cleaned himself up, then tossed those in the same direction.  
  
Sebastian scooted himself gingerly off the bed, standing with obviously wobbly legs, and Jace felt something between sympathy, embarrassment, and pride. All three emotions evaporated as Sebastian came closer, blonde hair askew, in nothing but the no-longer crisp white dress shirt and dark blue socks. His legs were faintly downy with light hair, his cock pink and pretty. Clearly aware of Jace’s gaze trailing his every move, he dropped down very deliberately to his knees with surprising grace, and looked up at Jace from between Jace’s legs with false innocence. “Are you ready for your performance review?”  
  
“Oh fuck,” said Jace.  
  
Sebastian’s lips twitched upwards at Jace’s inanity and his gaze dropped down to Jace’s cock, which was starting to perk up again. He wet his lips with the tip of his pink tongue, clasping his hands behind his back. Jace thought that tweet Alec had retweeted about not knowing where to put your hands while someone sucked you off. Do you cross your arms? Give them a thumbs up? Pat them on the head? Finger guns? The eternal puzzle was suddenly very relevant.  
  
All thoughts about his hands were suddenly startled out of his head as Sebastian gave him a little kitten lick, as if annoyed Jace’s attention had strayed elsewhere. His hair shone like golden threads in the yellow lamplight, soft and begging to be touched; he ran his tongue slowly down Jace’s underside, coaxing him upwards. Light lashes turned up his way and vivid blue eyes met his own, the tip of Sebastian’s obscenely pink tongue teasing over the slit of Jace’s cock.  
  
“Holy shit,” said Jace, a bit strangled.  The words were out before he could stop them. “What kind of blowjob school did you go to?”  
  
Sebastian looked amused at the turn of phrase, or at least the inanity of it. “Harvard School of Business.”  
  
“I would have pegged you as an Oxford cocksucker myself— _fuck_!” The last was as Sebastian pressed a hot, warm kiss to Jace’s tip, pushing in incrementally deeper. He was definitely hard now and _god_ , Sebastian was good. He wasn’t even sure how it was possible for a mouth to feel like this and he was sure as hell he couldn’t do it in a million years, but the pressure of Sebastian’s sucked-in cheekbones was almost too much to bear. His perfect, plush lips were pushing down Jace’s length, barely a splutter as Jace pushed into Sebastian’s throat. Jace gripped the arms of the chair, gritting his teeth, feeling his toes curl against the onslaught. The heat and pressure were impossible, the clever swirl of tongue nearly reducing him to tears. All the world was distilled down to the strained sounds of Sebastian breathing through his nose, the wet sounds of his mouth, and the mounting tension at the base of Jace’s spine—clumsily, he put a hand in Sebastian’s hair, taking hold of a handful of golden strands.  
  
Sebastian moaned, the vibration at the back of his throat sending a spiked wave of pleasure up Jace’s spine. He gave a responding sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper, arching up against the back of the chair. “Fuck—Seb, that's fucking insane, _fuck_ —“  
  
He broke off with another heartfelt groan, clamping down on the impulse to tug at the back of Sebastian’s head and managing only to tamp it down to an awkward jerk as he came. Sebastian’s throat made an odd, wet sound as he swallowed around him, drawing out the moment of blazing bliss a covetous second more. Jace made an incoherent sound of his own, slumping in the office chair, head thrown back against the headrest. The hotel room’s ceiling stared back down at him; with effort, he pulled himself upright.  
  
Sebastian had already stood up, wiping at his mouth with his sleeve with grace and dignity that shouldn’t be available to someone who’s lips were still red from being stretched around Jace’s cock. As he moved Jace could see the curve of his ass under his crumpled white shirt-tails—god, there was no way he could go for another round, but how often did hot rich blonde men with a frankly pornographic mouth throw themselves at him? This might be his sexual peak. The thought was a lot more depressing than Jace liked to admit.  
  
Sebastian caught him looking and gave a wry little laugh. “I’m afraid not. I’m far too old for another round.”  
  
Jace put on his best smirk, gross and hot and indecent. “But I didn’t even get to fuck your tits. Or should I say your old man tits—”  
  
“Careful, or I’ll tell the world about your tequila adventures and penguin boxers.” Sebastian swept past him, towards the in-suite bathroom. It was enormous and fancier than any bathroom Jace had ever seen, in a hotel or not. His attention quickly strayed back to Sebastian’s legs, long and slender. Did he work out? He had to work out. Jace imagined him in tight-fitting workout gear, working up a sweat on his glistening chest, golden hair pulled up in one of those ridiculous little headbands—  
  
“I’m taking a shower,” Sebastian told him, parting the curtain of horny steam that had fogged over Jace’s thoughts. “To salve my aching, geriatric back,” he added before Jace could ask if he wanted company. “Feel free to order room service, and don’t even bother looking for porn on the TV, it’s not that kind of establishment.” And with that he swung the bathroom door shut with a snap, brokering no disobedience.  
  
“Bossy,” Jace muttered, without venom. It was hard to be venomous when all of his willpower had just been sucked out through his dick. Still, he managed his way over to the fancy stainless-steel minifridge and pulled out the least-disgusting craft beer he could find. There was a bottle opener on the top of the fridge near a coffee machine with the pods, which he used to flip off the cap. The ice-cold beer hit him like a blast of AC on a sweltering day, and he gave an involuntary shudder. On a whim, he opened the tiny plastic freezer section.  
  
No body parts.  
  
Fishing out his phone from his back pocket—had it really been there the whole time?—Jace opened up Snapchat one-handed and took a picture of the empty freezer. Putting down the beer he tapped out _not a serial killer_ and sent it to the family group chat.  
  
A familiar bitmoji he recognized as Magnus’ popped up over the keyboard.  
  
_> please, jace. everyone knows bodies are stored in the closet. up your horror game_  
  
Jace sighed, picking up his beer and tapping back one handed as he made his way back to the bed,  
  
_< very funny setup for a closet joke, magnus_  
_< but im not falling for it_  
_< also why is magnus in the family groupchat????_  
  
_> Alexander added me so I can see pictures of Church_  
_> what a sweet homicidal kitty _😻😻😻  
  
_< alec I swear to god your bf likes our killer cat more than me_  
  
Izzy’s bitmoji appeared long enough to deal a devastating blow.  
  
_> he speaks for all of us, jace_  
  
_< ouch_  
_< that cuts deep_  
_< im gonna go home and write angsty poetry_  
_< if I renounce my life to become a cat furry you guys know who to blame_  
_< also iz if you add meliorn to this chat I will kill you irl_  
  
_> lmao no_  
_> I don’t actually want him to dump me_  
_> not that id ever get dumped ofc_  
_> but hypothetically I don’t want him seeing jace’s late-night cheetos craving snaps_  
  
_< but we want magnus seeing that????_  
  
Magnus started typing but Alec beat him to the punch.  
  
_> we most certainly DO NOT_  
_> jace, no more depressing-ass black screens about cheetos at 2 am_  
_> get a fucking finsta if you have to_  
_> or better yet, a s/o_  
  
Everyone’s bitmojis slunk down under the keyboard, as if miming the awkward silence that could be palatably felt. The comment stung, just a little, but Jace knew Alec and knew he didn’t mean it to hurt him. It didn’t stop him from holding up his phone and taking a picture out the elaborate window stretching the entire side of the wall, capturing the sparkling lights and glowing, glittering towers of downtown.  
  
_< whoops looks like I got myself a sugar daddy instead_  
  
Izzy sent a sticker that indicated scandalized delight, her bitmoji saying OMG!! to his.  
  
_> our angelic baby brother is getting his slutty wings!! _ 💸😇💸😇💸😇💸  
  
Another string of slightly less excited stickers from Magnus, most of which featured cartoon vomit. In the background, the sound of the water drumming against the bottom of the tub started up from behind the door.  
  
_> leaving the groupchat permanently._  
_> and, by coincidence, my lunch is leaving me_  
  
Jace grinned.  
  
_< are you forgetting the time you literally broke a bed right next to my room???_  
_< as I recall you and alec kicked me out of MY OWN BED _  
_< AT 2 AM_  
_< I slept on the couch_  
_< for a WEEK_  
  
_> ugh fine_  
_> spill the tea _☕  
  
_< he swallowed lol_  
  
A properly scandalized string of emojis from Izzy.  
  
_> OMG JACE EW_  
_> tell us everything!!!!_  
  
Jace looked between the bathroom door and his screen, debating the pros and cons of joining Sebastian in the shower. He quickly concluded that was one of those things that was hot in porn and movies and really fucking weird in real life. He turned back to his phone.  
  
_< there’s not much to say other than that we fucked_  
_< he’s some kind of businessman I think_  
_< it was all casual so I didn’t really ask lmao_  
_< we didn’t actually talk actually ahaha_  
  
_> Are we talking Patrick Bateman businessman?_  
_> might want to re-check the fridge_  
_> or the closet_  
  
_> omg magnus whats with you and serial killers???_  
_> jace don’t listen to him and keep telling us the deets!! _👀👀👀  
  
_< fucking hell Magnus he’s not Patrick whateverthefuck_  
_< way hotter than Christian bale_  
_< also not American so he can’t be an American psycho, duh_  
_< and  there’s no way Patrick whatshisdick swallows so there_  
  
_> idk jace I think you should check the closet. might have missed something._  
  
_< fuck you alec you’re supposed to be on my side_  
_< anyway one sec he said I can order room service and im not about to pass up free food_  
  
Jace threw down his phone on the golden coverlet, rolling off the mattress and looking around for a menu and the courtesy phone. He caught sight of a folded cardstock that looked official on the desk and made for it, but was disappointed to find it was just a welcome message with no mention of food. A small box caught his eye and he nudged it open, revealing a large stack of what appeared to Jace’s untrained eye to be business cards. _Ha_. Grinning and thinking of Magnus’ weird obsession with American Psycho, Jace picked one out and laid it down on the desk. It was, to his extreme amusement, a tasteful crème color with elegant black lettering. He reached for his phone, reading the tiny text.  
  
_Jonathan Morgenstern, MBA, CFA_  
_Junior investment associate_  
_Morgenstern Investment Group_  
  
Jace frowned. Though he hadn’t expected Sebastian to use his real name online, it seemed a bit odd to use another name in person. Also, the corporate logo emblazoned on the card seemed familiar, somehow. As he opened his phone, the photo he’d taken out the window appeared at the top of the chat—someone had accidentally saved it. He glanced back down to Sebastian—Jonathan’s—card, and back up to the window, where the same logo shone in an eerie red at the top of a skyscraper. A lot of things fell into place at once and the bottom of Jace's stomach dropped like a rock. Jace didn’t know what the fresh hell a Junior investment associate was, but he seriously doubted Jonathan having the same last name as the corporation he worked for was a coincidence. The fake name, the prudish insistence on no marking—Sebastian wasn’t just rich, he was _rich_. But more than that, he had lied.  
  
The whole fantastic illusion that Jace had built up around the evening abruptly evaporated, leaving Jace half-naked, uncomfortably sticky, and feeling rather stupid in a complete stranger’s hotel room. He’d wanted to believe so badly that the whole insane adventure could be true, a story to rival Alec and Magnus’ tales about Havana and Tokyo or even just the fantastic dive bar down the street. Chasing after random strangers on the internet was insane—why couldn’t he form just one normal human connection? And moreover, why did he always pick the people who lied?

His chest was suffocatingly tight as he scooped up his clothes off the floor, struggling into his shirt and looping his belt clumsily around his hips and zipping up his jeans. The unspoken word immature bounced around in his head like he was a pinball machine. His skin felt uncomfortably hot, something akin to anger or shame buzzing between his ribs. Alec was right. Maybe Jace really did just need to grow the fuck up.  
  
Jace’s phone was vibrating furiously on the bed but he ignored it, putting down his beer and scraping at his pockets for spare change to pay for it. He grabbed his phone and scooped the loose card off the desk, crumpling it in his hand, then made for his boots where they’d been hastily discarded by the door. He could hear the steady drum of water from the bathroom and the occasional sound of Sebastian—Jonathan, whatever his fucking name really was—moving around. At least he wasn’t humming or god forbid, singing.  
  
Hand on the doorknob, Jace took one last look to the hotel closet. The light was off but even so Jace could tell it was empty save the courtesy pillows and blankets and a crisp blue dress shirt that was probably worth more than all of Jace’s internal organs combined. With one last fleeting glance back out the window at the Morgenstern Investment Group business tower, Jace pressed down the door handle and slipped out into the hall. When he closed the door behind him, he wasn’t even trying to be quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Jace's feelings will be resolved in the next chapter!! I'm sorry for the downer ending but that WAS 10k of smut so like....who's the real winner here, PWP or feelings? Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!!


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